A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi, which was just driving by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing, you’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Just like you coming out of the building just as I was driving by. Things like that always happened to Frank. Me, I’m always ten minutes late and a dollar short.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank. Things always went well with him. He succeeded at everything. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could compete at golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy. And here I am. The only thing I can do is drive a cab, and I don’t even make enough money doing this.”
Passenger: “Sounds like this Frank was something really special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Cabbie: “Frank really knew how to treat a woman and make her happy. He would never talk back to a woman even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, and he did his own laundry and ironing. No one could compare to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well… I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his widow.”
(Note: Notice that I broke my own rule and used too many words. But do as I say, not as I do. You can shorten this joke quite a bit and still get a laugh. Also, because of its long length, this joke can only be told in rare occassions, when it is appropriate — that is, when the audience has a long time to pay attention to a long joke. For instance, when people are just sitting around and there is a boring silence.